White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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