This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
