I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I don't think brook has ever known best
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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