i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Just puked most of my soul out..
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
