I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
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