Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
