the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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