I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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