NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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