I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Randomize
