He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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