Need sex. Gaining weight.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
