it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
