I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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