You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
