i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
