I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
