I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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