i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
