Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
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