im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
