On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
