the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
But theres a keg here and me gusta
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
