I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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