you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
