I need help removing her.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
