neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
True strength comes from lack of pants
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
