Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
