never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
