i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
