is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
