Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I'm both gender and math confused
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
