i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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