I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
