i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
