Don't EVER smell your tampon
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
