I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
