Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
