Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
