Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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