Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
