Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
