Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
