So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
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