omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
