i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
