She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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