remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
