I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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