we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
